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The Story of Caramel (Incomplete)

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Author Topic: The Story of Caramel (Incomplete)  (Read 688 times)
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Ah want mah cutie mark now! =(

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« on: April 20, 2011, 02:03:29 pm »

(Inspired by Lord Yul Kim and Nick Davis The Boss)

Its a beautiful afternoon, a time where Celestia's sun takes its turn to set. This day however, the sun is crying bloody tears that sends vibrant scarlet streaks across the sky. The wind blows softy as it creates a peaceful constant note that creates the perfect distractions from all of your miseries, allowing you to clear your mind. The cool chill of the afternoon provides a comforting chill that cause your body to tingle as the wind embraces you.

"So ahh see you're waitin' fer the train too?"

You turn your head to the side and took notice of a stallion who's coat has the distinctive color of sweet caramel shaded orange by the sunlight. His head was droopy and you note that his coat which was dirty and ragged, implying that he's hasn't taken care of himself in some time. Although his head was down, you could tell that he was looking at you.

"Ya know, Ma' always told me that life was like a box of chocolate. You never know whatcha gonna get."

He pulls himself up and then begins to scoot closer to you, .

"Ahh didn't know what ah was gonna get when ah came here. It was on these tracks where ah though ah was gonna change my life."

You see him lift his head up, you notice that he has clumps on hair hanging from the bottom on his head, its only now do you realize how large he is. He turns his neck to look at you before speaking in a slightly higher tone of voice.

"The train don't come until 'bout midnight, you're real early ya know... I suppose we got a couple hours before the train comes. Yup, a couple hours of sitting and waiting"

He blinks a couple times before he takes a deep breath and beings speaking, he sounded somewhat monotoned.

"Mah name's Caramel... Ah'm no good at introductions. Always been, always have."

Caramel sighs before continuing on

"Ah suppose ah should start from the beginning..."


Ah used ta be a big n' strong stallion, folk could always point me out from a crowd cause ah was so noticeable, but I wasn't always like that. Ah used to be small 'n lanky, when ah was a little colt, Ah couldn't do nothin right. Ah was too small to carry large things, too weak to buck apples as a farmhand in sweet apple acres, too shy ta sell things. Shoot, ah was even too nervous to talk ta people.

But then it all changed when ah meet Big Macintosh. He was just like me, weak, small, lanky, not too well with words either. We made a little agreement that maybe if we stuck together, we can do things. And it worked! We worked together to do things we coulda never done alone! Soon, we was doing things that nopony thought they could do themselves! We grew together, we became the bestest of friends, we were practically brothers.
Ah'm even inclined to believe that if it wasn't fer Big Mac, ah would have ever discovered my cutie mark. It happened one day when one of the work stallions hurt himself trying to deliver this humongous load of rocks to some rock farm on the outskirts of ponyville. They said it couldn't be done, but me n' Big Mac took up the job together. It was the hardest work Ah've ever done, Me n' Big Mac actually for the first minute just stayed in one place tryin our hardest to move the thing. But the moment we took our first step, we just became what the mayor called, a 'machine of efficiency'. We delivered the rocks faster then the strongest Pegasus in the sky. And the moment we came back, Ah notice'd that ah got 3 horseshoes on my flank. And that's when ah learned that ah was ment ta be the strongest work pony there is!

Things began to take a turn when ah grew up though. Ah was the strongest stallion in ponyville, but whenever ah tried talking to mares. Ah would just turn into the smallest filly in an instant. It was sad cause ah saw the way they looked at me, they liked me 'n ah liked them too. But my nerves would fail me. All the time! At first it was anger and frustrations, but it quickly turned into depression when the mares stopped looking at me, when ah saw them with other stallions. What really hurt me the most was when the little fillies and colts actually started laughin at me! It was just a hard time for me, but whenever that'd happen. Ah would just run to Sweet Apple Acres 'n talk ta Big Macintosh. He always listened, and he never made fun of me, and he would tell me some funny story about something that happened on tha farm and then ah wouldn't feel that bad anymore. And that's when ah really appreciated him.

But even with the help of Big Mac. It still didn't change mah problem. When ah tried talkin the to local mares. Ah was still breaking down and ah didn't understand why. Eventually the mares just simply ignore'd me. Ah knew that mah nervousness caused them to see me as a waste of their time. So ah had ta do something to get their attention again or ah'd never get another chance!
So ah looked at the other stallions. What do they have that ah don't? Then ah realized it. They had long tails, which ah kept mines short cause they tend to tangle up when ah'm workin. And they had a clean mane, which ah truthfully never cared for mine. Ah had to change it up somehow, but honestly, what would ah know about lookin good?

Then ah saw it. Carasol boutique. When ah walked in there, ah was greeted by the most beautiful mare ah'd ever seen. Her name was Rarity. She was so... Well, ah don't know any other word other then 'beautiful' but she was just so kind too. Ah came in asking for... Well, nothin, My words just left me tha moment ah saw her. Next thing ah knew, she was measuring me all around sayin stuff like "Oh you poor thing! You look like a mess! Here, Allow me to fix you up and soon, you'll be the most handsome stallion in all of Ponyvile!". There wasn't really much ah could too. Ah was frozen, and the things she was saying to me didn't help either.

"You have such beautiful eyes darling!"
"Mmm, you're so lean!"
"Oh my! You have such a well toned flank!"

Ah didn't really say anything to that, but ah did blush really hard. Just standing there, listening to her compliments while she touches me all over really did a number on me. Before ah knew it. Ah had a longer tail, a brushed coat, and a well done mane. Ah wished ah couldda stayed longer but ah didn't want to impose, after all, it was free.

When ah left that place, ah felt like a renewed stallion! Ah knew ah looked good when ah started catching the eye of the mares around here. Then the most strangest thing happened! One of them came to ME!
"Wow... Caramel! You changed!"
"Ah did, didn't ah!? Say uhh..."
"Cloudkicker, do you want to... Ya know..."
"Maybe go out somewhere."
"What was that?"
"Have dinner sometime."
"Caramel, I can't hear you."
"Right... I'll... talk to you later Caramel."

Ah can't believe it. Even after ah changed myself. Ah still can't say nothing! Whats wrong with me! Why am ah always so afraid! Why me! Why! Why! WHY!
Its been many years and ah still depended on Big Macintosh. He was always there when ah needed him. He said he liked my new look. But this time, ah just sat in tha hay. I didn't say nothing. Ah just wanted some time, and right next ta me. Big mac was there, just sitting along with me. He was my brother, and ah loved him like one. He couldda just ignored me but he actually stopped working ta help me. Ah just wished ah said thank you.

After that, Ah just stuck with Big Mac, Followed him everywhere. Helped him do his work. Ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner with him. Ah practically became a part of the Apple Family. But even then.

Ah was still depressed. This wasn't something I could get over, this was something ah knew ah couldn't change. It was who ah am, and nothing could have changed that. I was a constant reminder of my own weakness.

Several days, weeks, and months have passed. And ah would just be doing the same things ah do. Wake up, go ta Sweet Apple Acres, work, then go home. Ah dreaded home. It was the only place where ah was truly alone. Ah showered alone, ah clean alone, ah slept alone. Ah just accepted that that this was how ah was ment to me. Alone fer ta rest of mah life. And fer a while. Ah was okay with that.

Until after a entire year of this cycle. Ah was looking pretty ragged, cause ah just stopped taking care of mahself, after all, what was the point? The strongest stallion in ponyville eventually turned to the most roughest stallion in all ponyville. Ignorance from the other ponies simply turned into looks of disgust. Ah didn't smell or anything, ah was just... Well, bad.

Then ah felt even worse all of a sudden. The apple were plenty nice to me, it didn't stop the fact that ah was basically going crazy. Ah loved the Apples, but deep down inside ah wanted more, and it began to show more and more everyday.

Ah knew things had to change, when for the first time in mah life. Ah got into a fight with Big Mac. Ah don't know what came over here or how it started, ah was just standing there yelling at him. He was always calm, he didn't move a single bit while this whole thing was going down, ah feared it could have gotten physical if Applejack hadn't come in and bucked me right across mah face, Good Celestia she bucks hard. And there ah was. Just laying on my side. Ah didn't move a single bit, Just laying there while Applejack was there swearin' at me with saliva being sprayed all over my face. And ah just laid there.

Ah didn't move a single muscle till nightfall. When ah had finally decided ta do something, ah had finally gotten up, ah was surprised to see that, right next to me, Big Macintosh was still there. Waiting for me. Ah didn't understand why. A couple hours ago, ah was yelling at him, ah spat in his face. Why would he wait for me? What would he gain? Why Big mac? Why?

We didn't say a single word throughout. In the middle of Luna's night, we just walked side by side until we got to my home. There he just said "G'night" then left. Ah stared at him until he was out of sight, then ah just went in my home and collapsed. Ah coulden't sleep. All ah could think about was myself, where was mah life going? Did ahh really deserve to die alone?
Eventually. It became painfully obvious that ah had to change.
But how?

That morning, ah had to think. What was ah going to do today? Ah definitely had to take a shower cause ah got that stink of dirt from laying in the ground all day. But the biggest thing that ran though mah head was wither or not I should to go the Apples today. Ah eventually decided to go cause frankly, not going wouldn't change anything.

And then, there ah saw it. On my way to the apple farm Ah saw this billboard as large and bright as the sun itself.


Transform yourself. That stuck out to me. And in an instant, ah was sold. Without a second thought, Ah galloped back home and grabbed the largest bags ah got. Stuffed it with my life's saving of bits and rushed out the door. Ah quickly turned back though, and ah wrote a little letter to the Apple family, thanking them for everything they've done for me. Then ah rushed to the train station. As it turns out. Ah was one of the first pony there and the train to Applelossa didn't come until noon. But still, ah sat there. Waiting for that train with my packs full of money. It was a good thing that ah got here first because if ah didn't, ah woulden''t have gotten a good seat cause there were a flood of ponies here. Most of them ah aint never seen before.

After a few hour long train ride. Ah finally gotten there, ready to start mah new life. It was beautiful. Apple trees everywhere, Ponydrawn-Carriages, Even ponies drawing ponydrawn-carriages!  The town smelled sweet of Apple pie fresh from the oven! It was like a dream come true!

It was then that ah realized ah didn't think this whole thing through. Ah didn't know where I was gonna stay, or what'd ah do. Eventually ah found myself going door ta door asking if they had an extra room available. Soon, Ah began living with a kind unicorn hat-shop owner. We became good friend and ah found work transporting large loads of apples.

As nice as it was. It was an upbeat town 'n all. But it didn't have the effect on me ah though it would. Ah thought that the so called "transformation" took time, but then ah realized that it didn't just happen! Ah had to change myself and Applelossa was a place fresh of opportunity! Well, ah felt great, ah looked great thanks to my new friend, Why not?

Ah went ahead and gone into the local bar and bam. First thing ah see are tons upon tons of young mares just waiting for some stallion to come in and sweep them away. And ah was determined to be that stallion. Ah decided that it was finally gonna be my time. Ah walked up to this pretty pink filly who seemed to be alone.
"Howdy there miss. Names Caramel!"
"Howday Caramel! M'names Strawberry Smoothie! Ya kin call me Berry!"
"Well Berry, kin ah get ya somethin ta drink?"
"We'll ahh wouldn't want to impose or nothin."
"Its quite alright. Ah work hard to earn plenty of bits, just for ya. Bartender! How bout some apple cider?"
"Well aint cho just a charming one!"

It was perfect. She just called me 'charming'. Celestia bless Applelossa for it helped me finally change mah life.

"Well... ahh. Uhh... Thank ya kindly."

Whats happening? Oh no. Not again. Not this time. Celestia have mercy.

"Hmm? What was that honey-buns?"
"Ahh said Thank you very much"
"Mmhmm, you're so cute when you're nervous, so big but so shy!"

Wait, What?

"Excuse me?"
"Well ahh fer one like shy folks. Mean ya got personality! Everypony 'round 'ere are always tryin' their hardest ta show off. And ahh don't really like it that much. Makes me feel like ahh'm in some sorta competition."
"Oh. Ahh see."
"What? We're ya lookin' to challenge me ta a buck-off or somethin'?"
"Well, 'course not. I'm new round here and ahh was lookin' for a... Uhh... Companion. You were lookin' plenty lonely and ahh though... Ya know. Ahh could do somethin' about it."
"Awhahah, Ain't cha just the sweetest one? Ahh like ya Caramel!"
"Thank ya kindly Berry."

Alright. So far so good. Now

"Well, ahh've been here for a while and I outta get goin' now. Ooh! Ahh know! How bout ya come down to the bakery this evenin' and maybe we kin get to know each other a bit more then?"
"Sounds great ta me."
"Alright then, its a date! See ya later sweetie!"

Ahh remember being so happy then, ahh had this giant stupid grin on my face then. Ya know, the kind when a little colt is excited for something. Ahh've been waiting a long time for this to happen... Ahh was so happy that ahh was ready to start laughin'.

"Apple cider for two."
"Uhh. Thank ya."

Later that day, ahh went back to the hat shop where ahh was living. Honestly, ahh don't really know the owner that well. But he looked really refined and ahh thought that he would lend a hand, after all, he certainly looked like he had plenty of experience in these sorts of things.

"Welcome back Caramel."
"Howdy Perry. How are the sales going?"
"Quite extraordinary! Ever since the citizens of Ponyvile began moving in. I've been making bits like I never have before! Look at my log old chap! Fifty hats! I must say that opening a shop in this quint town must be one of the best investments I have ever made!"
"Fifty hat? Wow. That must'uve made you a lot of bits."
"Of course son! I've sold out! Its a rather large accomplishment for me since I never soul out in my years of business."
"Ahh'm happy for ya."
"Thank you Caramel. But I must know! How was your first day in Applelossa?"
"Heh, Ahh was actually gonna ask ya fer some help"
"Certainly. What kind may I ask?"
"Well.... Ta be frank. Ahh got a date to go to at noon and ahh was wondering if ya would kindly... Fix me up?"
"Fix you up? Noon?"
"Well, ahh though you were like, the most well dressed pony in this-"
"It will be done in ten minutes flat. Let us begin!"

What happened next put me in disbelief. And ahh still can't believe believe it. The first thing he did was that he lifted me in the air with his unicorn magic and placed my square on my bum on an wooden chair and wrapped a tablecloth thing over my neck then he began to push the chair though these doors. And there Perry is, standing right next to be with a pair of scissors and a brush floating in the air. Then I start hearing some music from an old jukebox, that's when ahh began to notice the room, it was brightly lit and all ahh saw was this bed, and tons of fancy hats on display and posters of musicals ahh never heard of. I saw Perry with his eyes closed, he was obviously enjoying the music.

"This is my favorite tune ya know."

And I was still kindda confused as to what as going on since he did this so quickly. Then I felt my mane being pressed and cut. It was weird cause it actually felt kindda good. The way he was cutting it while pampering my scalp. Don't get me wrong, it was plenty awkward fer me.

I'm singggging in the rain, just singggging in the rain..."

After a while, ahh began to get worried, as much as ahh trusted him, ahh didn't know him too well and ahh was kindda concerned about how ahh would look, which was a first for me. It just kindda felt strange seeing my mane fly off everywhere.

"What a gloooorious feeeeling, I'm haaaaappy again"
"Do you normally sing when you do this sort of stuff?"
"Why of course. I love music, its one of the things that give me joy in this world"
"Really? Ahh thought it would be hats, seeing ya got one for a cutie mark."
"Who says you can only love one thing? Tell me son, what do you love?"
"Uhh. Well, workin' ahh guess."
"Is that all?"
"Ahh... Ahh guess."
"Are you sure?"
"Are you indefinitely sure that there is nothing else in this world that you love?"
"Ahh think so."
"Heh, you're still so young. But you'll see, you'll see."

Yup. It was really uncomfortable. Ahh just sat there, just waiting until it was over and look at what he's done to me. It still wasn't as bad as it was being fixed up by Rarity.

"Perfect! And so, The perplexing Perry presents a peerless portrayal of pure pulchritude!"

At this point, he spun the chair around to a mirror ahh didn't realize was behind me. And what ahh saw really did surprise me, My mane was the most clean and even ahh've ever seen it. It was smooth and shiny which was something ahh didn't think was possible. It looked so different ahh didn't even recognized myself.

"Wow... How did you..? Ahh, ahh... Ahh don't know what to say. Ahh would say it looks great but ahh don't think its the right word for this."
"Indeed. Impressed are you not? However! The job is not yet done!"
"It aint?"
"No no no, of course not son. What it needs... Is a hat."
"Hahaha! Ahh figured you would say something like that."
"You are going to look simply perfect. You see these hats in my room"
"These are my personal, private hats. I sell many hats, but I always keep the best for myself."
"And I want you to take one, No cost."
"Huh? Really?!?"
"Indeed! A first impression only deserves the best!"
"But ahh barely know you."
"It matters not! I can spot responsibility when I see it."

He used his magic to float over a bunch of them hats over
« Last Edit: June 21, 2011, 06:41:32 pm by Applebloom » Report Spam   Logged

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Devious Shinobi
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« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2011, 08:21:23 pm »

That was awesome!

Are you going to do more?
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Ah want mah cutie mark now! =(

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« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2011, 11:22:13 pm »

Oh yeah. I plan to finish it. I'm just sitting here waiting for a strike of inspiration.

It'll come anytime now...
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